“Rabid fans” is a term I believe was first coined to describe the owners of any variation of Porsche’s most iconic badge, the Carrera. Speak anything but high praise about their beloved car and they’ll bite you, all the while hoping some of their foaming at the mouth will infect you as well.

In truth, the Carrera is a phenomenon. Whether air or water cooled it has always been one of the very best of any generation of super-cars. And with each generation it has improved enough to spawn another round of automotive press asking “is this the best Carrera yet?”. And that eternal question points to the larger problem:

The Porsche Carrera is an old & poor design. It should be retired.

Stop throwing tomatoes. Put your rabid friend on a leash and I’ll continue.

Fundamentally, the engine is in the wrong place. Placing the largest single source of weight behind the rear axle is a recipe for disaster. Before the world of traction control there were many stories where mid-corner throttle lift resulted in the rear license plate deciding to go around front and see what all the fuss was about. If good car design and handling is all about balance, then the Carrera has worn a huge albatross on it’s ass since day one.

Don’t send me listings of all of the Carrera’s records, or wins, or accolades, because I’m not discounting its accomplishments. But any other car company in the world would have seen their mistake and said, “okay then… great little car, what’s next?”. Not Porsche. Maybe it’s a German thing. Instead of trying again they’ve spent nearly fifty years figuring out how to make this car fantastic in spite of its tragic flaw. They seem to say, “Mistake? No, of course not, we planned it all along.”.

I’m awed by the engineering prowess of it all. Imagine if NASA had mounted a blender motor on the Saturn V rocket, and then instead of fixing the design they worked out how to send it to the moon anyway. A work of genius? Yes. But I’d still wonder if all that cranial superpower couldn’t be put to better use.

So the Carrera lives on. And each generation is actually better. The current version is converting even those hard cynical folks who swore they’d never like a Carrera. (Yes. Even me.) But that brings us to the second, more elusive issue with the car:

Why? Why spend so much time and money keeping this fifty year old design up to date and competitive?

Have you seen the 2007 Jaguar E-Type? No, of course not. And yet that car is often labeled as one of the best car designs… well… ever. And what if Ferrari were still making the 308? Yes, the “Magnum P.I.” car. What if for the last nearly thirty years those crazy Italians had decided “We’ve peaked with the 308… we’ll just keep tweaking it.” Imagine. No 355. No F40. No Enzo! If they had held themselves back so that no other car in their line-up ever surpassed their prized 308, what would the automotive world have missed? And how insane would Ferrari seem?

Yet, Porsche has done just that. No matter what other car design they produced through the years. The 928? Good, but not as good as the Carrera of the same era. The 944? Well, maybe it does have the perfect balance the Carrera lacks, but with only a four cylinder it wasn’t ever going to unseat the old guy. Nothing has been allowed to out-do the Carrera.

What about the Carrera GT you say? At first glance, you’re right. Except then the following little details creep up. First, you notice it looks nothing like the 911 Carrera and yet it kept the same name. So the Porsche Super-car still remains the Carrera! Or, you can look at their current lineup of cars and notice that the top of the line, fire-breathing Carrera Turbo… Yup. It’s actually faster than the Carrera GT!

All the while looking like the direct descendent of the 50 year old design and still dragging it’s heavy ass around.

Hopefully, you’re beginning to understand the scope of the problem.

Now, consider the company behind this problem. In recent years Porsche has been one of the most financially successful carmakers. Their cars now rank among the most reliable cars made. They are respected and even revered throughout the industry for their engineering prowess. If any company was primed to push the envelope of automotive possibility, it’s Porsche. But they remain leashed and neutered by the Carrera.

Consider the newest car of their lineup, the Cayman. All the positives of the Carrera with the added balance and nimble chassis to surpass it. And yet, Porsche has purposely held back, keeping their strongest engines out of a car that can and would unseat the Carrera. The company is now censoring itself. Why exactly? To maintain the love of rabid fans? To continue a mystique?

Now look at the Bugatti Veyron. A production car built to prove a point and show how amazing cars can be. If any company has a chance of out-doing the Veyron, it’s Porsche. Like a great country held back by its archaic aging leader, Porsche won’t be able to realize it’s full potential until it lets the Carrera die.

It’s like the automotive version of “Hamlet” … Something’s rotten in the state of Stuttgart, and to set it right, there must be death.

Discuss “The Carrera Problem” in the forums